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Quick Ways Of Getting People To Say "Yes"
Persuasion enters into nearly everything we do. From writing catchy advertising copy to encouraging your boss to realize the potential of your brilliant idea, or even convincing a friend why Peet's makes better coffee than Starbucks-getting people to do something or think a certain way is an art. It requires finesse and eloquence, intelligence and thoughtfulness.In every aspect of business communication-writing, discussing, or presenting-these twelve rules will help you sharpen your rhetorical abilities and get people to say "yes" with skill.
1. Prepare for contradictions. Identify the weak points of your argument and make a list of ways to refute them. Play the devil's advocate in your own mind-this way, you will be prepared when the other person plays it in person.
2. Empathize. Find the common ground between you and the person you are trying to persuade. Discover what makes the other person tick-and then prove that you can relate. Sympathy just means you see where the other person is coming from; empathy means you have been there, too, and know exactly what it takes to get from A to B.
3. Be logical. No one can argue with an eminently rational position. Start out with non-controversial statements and work your way from there. Like statistics, logic can be used to argue for or against just about anything. Just do not get so caught up in the rational framework that you fail to notice discrepancies in the bigger picture.
4. Demonstrate your expertise. You are more convincing when you know the facts, so do your homework. Even without being an expert, you can still project confidence about your position-just be careful not to let your self-assurance morph into arrogance.
5. Actually listen. Do not just nod along-actively pay attention and respond to what the other person is saying. Listening carefully will educate you about his position and help you detect the holes in his argument. It also demonstrates that you respect the other person-a quality that will take you far in his esteem.
6. Admit when you are wrong. Conceding points when you know you have lost actually strengthens your argument because you become more trustworthy. Of course, do not give up something unless it is actually false-but if it is, be humble and acknowledge the fault. If you continue to promote a clearly flawed position, the only thing you prove is your stubbornness.
7. Get them to think it is in their own best interest. This is crucial. By pointing out the benefits they will receive-instead of saying why you want them to change-you are putting the focus squarely on them. This will echo in their mind long after your words are gone.
8. Don't preach. Easy to think, harder to do, particularly when you are passionate about something. Do not be caught up trying to spill everything at once; it will only turn into a lecture. You will appear out of touch with your audience and apathetic to their needs. If you are doing all the talking, it is also a good sign that you are not getting the other person to speak up-which precludes your listening (see number two).
9. Don't trivialize personal beliefs. Unless you have engaged specifically in a debate about the nature and existence of God, avoid such sensitive subjects. In business writing especially, it is professional to stick with the topic at hand and leave matters of personal conviction out of the discussion.
10. Hammer it home-but mix up the tools. Repeat your point plenty, but vary your methods. People respond differently to assorted types of communication: someone might understand an analogy or metaphor more easily than a pie chart. Throw in references to pop culture or medieval literature-you never know what is going to trip the wire.
11. Offer an incentive. When all else fails, the blunt tool of rewards-social, financial, or spiritual-will often spur a skeptic into action. Just do not go overboard and promise something you cannot deliver; that is just bad business.
12. Keep your sense of humor. Stay calm and be able to laugh at yourself. A smile will get you places no amount of anger ever could. You will also unwittingly exude confidence in your position, which-see number four-earns you points.
Remember, someone who is converted against his will never really changes-it's persuasion half-baked. If you follow the above guidelines, you will not only get someone to say "yes," he will think it was his own idea.